Undo Jesus

Words escape me. Good luck with that, friend.

Quizz'd

I was sick yesterday with some kinda stomach bug or whatnot. So I spent a few hours trying to ignore my nausea and splitting headache by mindlessly surfing the 'Net. I managed to kill a few minutes by taking some o' those nerdy little online quiz whatamajig things. Let the good times roll.

This one is supposed to tell you what your evangelical worldview is. The results are in. It reads a little like a fortune cookie, but apparently I am Reformed Evangelical:

You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die. Reformed Evangelical 82% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71% Neo orthodox 68% Fundamentalist 61% Emergent/Postmodern 54% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 25% Roman Catholic 18% Classical Liberal 4%

Here's the evangelical worldview quiz. But the fun didn't stop there; I took another one to see if I was Chalcedon compliant. Very revealing:

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451. Chalcedon compliant 100% Pelagianism 33% Monophysitism 33% Apollanarian 17% Nestorianism 17% Monarchianism 0% Adoptionist 0% Arianism 0% Docetism 0% Gnosticism 0% Albigensianism 0% Modalism 0% Socinianism 0% Donatism 0% Are you a heretic? Take the quiz.

You should definitely take those quizzes too. You know... so I can label you. And so you won't call me a nerd.

[HT: Barabbas, Monergism]

XXX Church

"Here's some bad news for your marketing efforts: You lost your domain and a porn site snatched it up. Too bad you just handed out fliers at the local Apple Harvest Day with the old site--now sending lots of unexpecting potential visitors to a porn site. Doh.

True story. It happened to Hope Community Church in Dover, N.H. The mix-up happened when the church was switching Internet service providers and the ISP that sold the url admitted fault..."

[HT: Church Marketing Sucks]

Show Me the Money

"Every year we gaze enviously at the lists of the richest people in world, wondering what it would be like to have that sort of cash. But where would you sit on one of those lists? Here's your chance to find out." - Global Rich List

Click the link above to see where your salary falls on the global scale. If it's anywhere close to accurate, prepare to be surpised... and grateful.

[HT: The Point]

Woman King

Earlier this year, in June, the Episcopal Church voted Nevada Bishop Katharine Jefferts-Schori as the first female leader of the entire church. She will now be the presiding bishop at the National Cathedral in Washington, becoming the first female priest to lead a national church in the nearly 500-year-old Anglican Communion.

I have some concerns about that alone, and many of you may agree or disagree with me on those matters (complementarianism or egalitarianism). However, my main concern is this church leader's view of the Gospel. From a Time magazine interview with Ms. Jefferts-Schori:

Is belief in Jesus the only way to get to heaven? We who practice the Christian tradition understand him as our vehicle to the divine. But for us to assume that God could not act in other ways is, I think, to put God in an awfully small box.

That's a very politically correct attempt not to offend anyone with the Gospel; Ms. Jefferts-Schori's answer regarding this Gospel presents Christ merely as a means (among others, she infers) to an end. In reality, we need not assume anything about how God saves people, for God has already made it clear that salvation is in Christ alone.

DROVE '06

I hit the road last week to hit up the DRIVE ’06 conference at Andy Stanley’s church just outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Turns out, I liked it a lot. I would have to say I liked it as much as the Desiring God conference, but in a different way. Let me explain.

What the DG conference was for straight-up quality theology, DRIVE was for the practical how-to side of church organization, structure, and production. Stanley and crew were basically hosting the conference on this premise – “We don’t have it all figured it out, but for our church in this area, here is how we got where we are.”

North Point Community Church was founded about ten years ago with a desire to reach and influence the surrounding community by utilizing what they call “irresistible environments” – relevant media and production that centers on the message of Christianity. Today, NPCC itself has about 15,000 members in addition to two nearby plants and a growing number of strategic partnerships across the U.S. Regardless of your thoughts on megachurches, corporate structure within the church, and whether or not NPCC waters down the message, there is no question that these guys are reaching and impacting the Atlanta area and beyond. The DRIVE conference focused on the underlying leadership structure, systems and principals that have allowed them to accomplish and sustain this.

Here are just a couple things I took away from the conference and will be thinking about:

• God works through organized systems. NPCC and other churches with a high emphasis on production, structure and strategy are often accused of being “too corporate” because they utilize “secular business strategies” in reaching people. Andy made a great point, though (my paraphrase) - “Corporations like McDonald’s and Coke have reached their ‘great commission’ - they’re everywhere. …The multiplication table is not in the Bible. That does not mean it is not true, not useful, or ‘secular.’” Their leadership structure is clear and straightforward. Everyone knows exactly who they report to, what is expected of them, and what their specific role is as it pertains to the whole. This type of organizational leadership structure is an admited weak point for my own church. It was refreshing to see it in action.
  
• Don’t underestimate the value of relevant production. These guys utilize media production better than any church I’ve ever seen. I personally like videos, lighting, visuals, graphics and such used in worship services. On a much smaller level, I use them in my own ministry, and would like to use them more. But I’ve definitely seen them used and overused in ways that are distracting and self-defeating (and probably done so myself). These guys put a lot of time, effort and money into creating a solid production - an immersive environment - from beginning to end, and from what I saw, every single element pointed to and supported the message or teaching for each particular session. It wasn’t just a big show; by the time you got to the message, you were completely drawn in. My paraphrase of Andy on this point – “In this area, our church is competing with golf courses and movie theaters. We place a high value on excellent production because by doing so, we give the type of people we are trying to reach a reason to listen to our message.”
  

Those are just a couple things I found particularly interesting and thoughtworthy. For a more complete review of DRIVE '06, head over to TonyMorganLive - he has five posts of smart things Andy said.

DRIVE '06

Got to Hotlanta late last night for the DRIVE '06 conference at North Point Community Church; Andy Stanley and his dad Charles will be the keynotes. A friend went last year and invited me along this year, saying it was prolly one of the best practical "how-to" conferences he'd been to. From the DRIVE '06 website:

This year at drive, we are going to pop the hood and take a look at some of the not-so-glamorous but important aspects of church life. Stuff like, your decision-making processes, meeting structures, staffing, budgeting, and volunteer development. The Monday through Friday stuff -- the stuff that gets churches into trouble if it isn't managed well.

Ought to be interesting.

Letter from Ted Haggard

For anyone following the news surrounding the fall of evangelical leader Ted Haggard, Between Two Worlds has posted public letters that Mr. Haggard and his wife asked be read to their congregation.

Redeem

"Redeem the culture" is becoming more and more the cry of Christianity today. Scott McClellan over at Igniter Media wrote a quick blurb on the subject, citing Johnny Cash's cover of Trent Reznor's Hurt as a perfect example.

Cash recorded a cover of Trent Reznor’s “Hurt” and released it on the album American IV -The Man Comes Around. The music video that followed was amazing. Footage of Cash, humbled by age and illness, sitting alone with his guitar or at the head of a banquet table, is interspersed with footage of Cash as a younger man, loved ones he lost along the way (or would soon lose), and images of Christ.

Trent Reznor’s lyrics (except for one omitted obscenity) were redeemed by the voice, imagery, faith, and life of Johnny Cash. For what its worth, the music industry responded. Artists from Bono to Justin Timberlake declared the video the most powerfully moving work the music video medium had ever produced.

While I believe that one day culture (music, values, art, relationships, etc.) will be fully redeemed/recreated, “Hurt” seems to be the perfect example of how followers of Christ can begin redeeming culture in the present. I wonder what would happen if we would follow Mr. Cash’s example by getting knee-deep in culture and redeeming it from within.

Halloweenies 2: Revenge of the Tracts

The Evangelical Outpost has some strong commentary on the infamous Chick Tracts. Joe Carter, who wrote the aforementioned commentary, expresses his displeasure regarding Halloween Chick Tracts using no uncertain terms:

I think it's safe to say that if the Lord hates Halloween then he must despise Chick tracts. When a well-intentioned but overzealous Christian gives these "comics" to a child it must be, as Chick would say, a "slap in the face." If you are the type of person who does this on Halloween I only have one word to say to you: repent.

Irrational fear is an overrated motivational tool, especially when you're trying to win the hearts and minds of children. Just look at my example. Twenty years later I'm still creeped out by the thought of the Chick comics. While they might have had the intended impact -- to scare the living hell out of me -- they did so by appealing to an unncessary fear of Satan. [Read the full post]

I'm all for redeeming Halloween. I'll even be dressing up as yon mountain hillbilly to give out candy to neighborhood kids at our church's Trunk-or-Treat event. I don't even mind folks passing out tracts (although I generally question their effectiveness.) Perhaps Joe's statement above runs a little hot, but this article does make a good point; these Halloween tracts sensationalize fear, and I don't think that's the way to win children to Christ. At least I know I wouldn't care much for my son getting one of those.

[HT: Between Two Worlds]

U2-Charist

The U2 Eucharist could be coming to an Episcopal liturgy near you. Maybe now you'll find what you're looking for. Or not.

Halloweenies

'Tis the season: time for the kiddies to get all dressed up in them costumes and go get some candy (while ultra-conservatives pass out strange... um... literature. Boo. And I don't mean like a ghost.)

Whichever side of the fence you fall on regarding the celebration of or participation in ye olde All Hallows' Eve, Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA, offers a thorough history of the holiday. As far as should Christians participate or not? Say they:

"Some members of Mars Hill opt to avoid Halloween altogether because portions of its mixed up history prick their conscience. Others see it as a truly americanized holiday, not specifically Christian but essentially 'American' like Thanksgiving or Presidents’ Day, and have no conscience issues participating. Others still draw various lines in between..."

"For those who have shunned Halloween because they were simply told it was evil, or for those who have participated and never bothered to weigh its appropriateness, your pastors would encourage the employment of godly wisdom, discernment, and a sense of our shared mission as Christians. Our abstinence or participation in regard to Halloween should not be derived from fear, misinformation, or pressure but rather from a sincere love of Jesus..."

Hooray for balanced views! If you're interested, check out the whole article, Gimme Some Sugar, Baby: The Holy Hellish Hodgepodge History of Halloween. I learned some stuff. Mainly, that October 31st is also known as “Reformation Day” and commemorates the day in 1517 when Christian reformer Martin Luther posted his 95 Theses challenging the doctrine of penance, the authority of the pope, and the use of indulgences.

Happy Halloween! All Hallow's Eve! All Saints Day! Holiday! Reformation Day!

[HT: Power of Change]

Animals are Gay

The birds and the bees may be gay, according to the world's first museum exhibition about homosexuality among animals.

With documentation of gay or lesbian behavior among giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, whales and dozens of other creatures, the Oslo Natural History Museum concludes human homosexuality cannot be viewed as "unnatural".

"We may have opinions on a lot of things, but one thing is clear -- homosexuality is found throughout the animal kingdom, it is not against nature," an exhibit statement said.

This is the worst argument I've ever heard for homosexuality. If you don't want to read the whole article, I'll give you my one-line synopsis: since certain bugs and animals exihibit homosexual behavior, it's natural and okay that humans do as well.

I wonder if gay folks would be offended by the kind of logic presented by this exhibition. This guy makes a good point, though:

Obviously, animals do many things (such as mate in public, lick their own genitals, use the bathroom in public, murder and even eat their own) ... and we do not base our morals and standards of conduct on what we see animals doing. However, there is something kind of humorous in the way that the press has now equated gay people with penguins, giraffes, beetles, and whales.

Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend

Sometimes, Christian perspectives on dating can be (may I be brutally honest?) downright stupid. Boundless, a webzine from Focus on the Family, actually has a pretty decent article on the subject, though - and written to dudes.

"Too often in dating relationships we think and act like consumers rather than servants. And not very good consumers at that. After all, no one would ever go down to his local car dealership, take a car out for an extended test drive, park it in his garage, drive it back and forth to work for several weeks, maybe take it on vacation, having put lots of miles on it, and then take it back to the dealer and say, 'I'm just not ready to buy a new car.'"

"But so often, that's exactly the way men treat the women they're dating. Endlessly 'test driving' the relationship, without any real regard for the spiritual and emotional wear and tear they're putting her through, all the while keeping their eyes out for a better model."

If you've been lookin' for love in all the wrong places, you should read the rest of the article.

Color Explosion

The Sony Bravia marketing gurus are at it again - and while this is not a product endorsement, you know I love me some sweet visual imagery. If you remember, these guys produced the bouncy ball-filled eyefeast that I wrote about here. The newest installment involves a highrise in Scotland and apparently several tons of non-toxic paint. Imagine a fireworks show using colored liquid instead of gunpowder, fire and sparks.

Now that you've imagined it, see it for real here.

HI-8-US

Northern Virginia is the vanity plate capitol of the world. I kid you not, almost everyone here has one. I do not have one, but only because I haven't thought of anything clever enough to put on one. I thought HI-8-US might be pretty good, but that's already taken. Please help.

Actually, all of this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I am going on vaction this week with my wife. We are leaving our spry young'un with his grandparents and heading south to the Mexicoast. Nos vemos en una semana ... mas or menos.

In the meantime, comment on the post below, hit me up with the sweetest license plate ever, or check out the boy's site for some video shennanagins. See you in a week.

MySpace is the New Mall Hangout

Church Marketing Sucks recently posted an article promoting the use of MySpace as an effective means of church outreach. The article is actually written by Joe Suh, co-founder of MyChurch.org ("not MySpace for Christians"). Suh says,

"Community within church walls is great, but it makes for an easy excuse to avoid outreach outside the church building. The digital world is no different. 80% of church visitors come because they were personally invited by friends. Now we have a fancy term for it: social networks. And now we have an incredible way to engage our social networks: MySpace.com.

"... A year ago, we canvassed church flyers at the local shopping mall. Today we manually post bulletins and church events on Craigslist and blogs. In one year, we’ll be automatically syndicating widgets of the church event calendar and sermons onto MySpace profiles..."

Church outreach via secular vehicles is by no means a new concept and certainly is not without controversy. Of course, there are folks who speil the potential dangers of MySpace (mainly citing the inappropriateness of certain images that may be found therein). On the flipside, there are those who, even with the best intentions, throw all caution to the wind and dive headfirst into the latest means of "making the church relevant."

There are aspects of MySpace that make it far from safe for those of us prone to sin. Yet, looking at Jesus' ministry, He didn't exactly hang out with "safe" people all the time. So can MySpace be a legit means of church outreach, or is it just another way your church becomes relevant relative? Thoughts?

Happy Anniversary

Dearest wife, I cannot remember what life was like without you.

I do not wish to.

Thank you for being the voice of love and wisdom in my life. You show me Christ in so many ways.

"I've Had an Abortion"

Feminist rag Ms. Magazine has started a "coming out" campaign for women who have had abortions. Said campaign involves signing a petition that simply declares "I've had an abortion" - which over 5,000 women have apparently signed. According to Ms. Magazine, the purpose of the petition is to "save lives and to spare other women the pain of socially imposed guilt" in an effort to repeal "archaic and inhuman laws" and eliminate the "social stigma still wrongly attached to abortion".

A Ms. article defending the campaign touts statistics on how many women die each year from botched and unsafe abortions, blaming U.S. and international family-planning policies as major contributors to this maternal death toll.

It certainly sounds benevolent of the feminist agenda to be so concerned about the health and safety of all those unwilling mothers. Beyond the desparation that would drive one to abort their unborn child, there is certainly no question that there are deep psychological and emotional issues that come as a result of having an abortion. That is a reality that any honest woman who has had an abortion will tell you, and those women should be able to express and deal with that impact in safe and non-condemning environments. (The Christian community should be first in line to offer this kind of support, I might add.)

However, I can't help but feel like Ms. Magazine and her masters are pulling the ol' bait-and-switch, preying on the consciences of these women under the guise of protection and safety, while using them as fodder for their own political agenda. If you check out Ms.' defense of the campain, the subtle undercurrent in their message seems to be "since it's going to happen anyway, government should support and fund abortion to make it safe for women." But follow that line of thinking, and it is just as logical to push for government funding for rape, murder, or theft - since they're going to happen anyway, why not make them legal and safe?

Abortion does not merely carry a social stigma - this is far too short-sighted on the part of the feminist agenda (and purposefully so, in my opinion). It is a moral stigma, and you will not stifle your own heart and conscience simply by changing laws. At the end of the day, abortion is still the taking of a human life. Dealing with it on a social level is like putting a band-aid on cancer. Abortion and all roads leading to it are moral issues, and must be dealt with on the level of the heart.

Ms. Magazine's "I've Had an Abortion" Campaign
Thinking About Having an Abortion?
Already Had an Abortion?

Reloaded

Got a new look all up in yo grill. Holla.